Stillness

cowboy

Hm.

Everything seemed like a blur caught up in a continuum of uncertainty – academics, family life, social circles,(at least my love life was brimming with hope), and the future.

Especially the future. I had always been weary of change – which is but the feeling of starting things over again from scratch and working your way up, that’s what change is, isn’t it? Even though we say change happens for “good” – we’re but merely blinded by our illusions of the multiple possible routes our life might take, and in that process forgetting the fact that every time change comes ’round the corner we go back to square one. It’s like the refresh button in your PC, except in reality change refreshes the whole programming or coding of what was to be your life, with a clouded image of what your life is going to be. If change is the constant – uncertainty is the answer.

Parasitically stillness spread its roots for about a month or so during when all I did was sit idly, procrastinating and rambling about how A-Levels was such a drag. I felt very astral –  out of my element so to speak and my very existence seemed to be frozen in time. Seconds, minutes, days,  and weeks, all seemed the same – tasteless and numb.

However,the back of my mind did scream optimistically, “there is an answer and a way out of this chaos,find it! or you’ll be caught up in this prevailing void of silence”.

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